Ersatz Living

by Anwar Sadat

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1.
from the silence of the void to the violence of birth from the warmth of a mother to the cold of the earth breathe the air in my lungs feel the pulse of my blood feel the whole of my body resonating with love be here now
2.
Cauterize 02:29
take my head hold me down stick your fingers in my mouth fill my throat make me sick cover me in your spit show me love show me love show me love show me love cut through me exsanguinate all desire i’m just a void bite my tongue with your kiss bruise my skin with your fist show me that i exist fuck me til i forget show me love show me love show me love show me love cut through me exsanguinate all desire i’m just a void
3.
Weltschmerz 02:34
i don’t recognize myself this body disgusts me just flesh, blood, shit, and piss i’m a walking disease yearn to castrate sensation i deny myself human animal staring back I look into its eyes but there’s nothing there this hate courses through my blood its stench on my breath crawl through this fucking life waiting for my death yearn to castrate sensation i deny myself human animal defies its nature i look into its eyes but there’s nothing left
4.
the cameras focus the vacant stare the awful hiss of escaping air serrated knife severs the head bleeding out in violent red a child’s body blown apart held together in mother’s arms the hands of God smeared in shit a prayer for mercy a death that’s quick the temptation to exist (lower than life) a universal emptiness (lower than life) cities gutted and left to burn to be forgotten the world keeps turning nature’s indifference uninterrupted we’re voyeurs of our own destruction no hell below no heaven above to radiate eternal love God is a sadist down on your knees pray for mercy beg for release the temptation to exist (lower than life) a universal emptiness (lower than life)
5.
No Exit 03:16
this awful body captive to this life the nausea of being thrusts in like a knife press my face to the wall beat my fists at the wall isolation drowns out this feeling i see no way out an act of surrender i can no longer pretend this cycle of failure is a means to an end the void beckons us all i don't fear it at all desperation strips life its meaning I see no way out
6.
consumed powerless confined by excess useless conquests define our success war makes brave men we enforce discipline to own is our innate desire in uniform rank and file occupy the target assimilate the culture war never ends take an eye for an eye rich men rise like scum of the earth flaunt their God’s money what is it worth? shameless lap dogs beg for more swallow your tongue what is it for?
7.
Geshenkgeber 03:25
come put your knife in me fuck without empathy you give me what i need punish the whore in me pitiless world of rape love offers no escape you make me someone else I’m nothing to myself empty your hate in me i’ll be your property down on my hands and knees begging for your disease a greedy mouth to suck your filthy hole to fuck a shadow of a man erase all that i am
8.
Ubik 03:26
mind and body, tethered to each moment unaware of the constant dissolution spilling out into a blank horizon i recognize familiar patterns days become years by force of habit arms outstretched into the chasm time is a phantom always receding this sedentary life offers no meaning i feel restless pacing the cage disconnected wasting away i can’t remember i can’t remember not feeling this way i can’t remember i can’t remember not feeling this way i can’t remember
9.
Todestriebe 03:35
open my body expose what’s inside me no soul burning brightly where is it hiding? just this animal instinct a cycle repeating a primitive function a drive toward destruction life is an error a violent transgressor recoiling in terror in the face of forever time’s fatal arrow pierces the marrow surrender my body let death inside me staring down my executioner puts the gun to my head raises the hammer staring down my executioner the moment of impact echoes forever

credits

released January 27, 2017

Buddy Crime - drums
Clay Farris - guitar
Hank Paradis - synth, sampler, additional vox on 'Ubik'
Shane Wesley - bass, vox

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Anwar Sadat Louisville, Kentucky

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